Sitting in the Shit

Somehow, society has convinced us that feelings are bad. Instead of embracing them when they come up, we turn a blind eye and push them away. When someone is feeling low, our instinct is to tell them about the bright side so that they can get out of that awful feeling as quickly as possible. The problem is, we actually need those lows as well.

Recently my boyfriend and his two kids moved in with me. It was a very stressful time for all of us. I was dealing with teenagers who were not raised with my values and a boyfriend who works 12 hour shifts. I was trying to fix all of our problems at once, while trying to learn how to market my business online, deal with some health issues and sit on three volunteer boards. I really loaded on the stress.

After four months of having my new family in my home (which I lived in alone prior) I was exhausted, stressed and not very nice. I went to the doctor and my blood sugars were up, which meant that I was getting close to pre-diabetic. After the Christmas Holidays I felt bloated, I had severe heartburn that attacked no matter what I ate and I had nothing left for anyone including myself.

I decided that something needed to change in January. Unfortunately it started with a blow up between my step-son and I, followed by a blow out between myself and my boyfriend. You might think that this is a bad thing, but it really wasn’t. The disagreements opened up a productive dialogue between the three of us. We were able to share how we were feeling and our expectations of one another.

Following that, my boyfriend stepped up and took over some of the things I had been trying to do all by myself, which took some pressure off of me and allowed me some space. I was missing my space. I then took myself out of the role of ‘fun provider’ for the kids. It was no longer my responsibility to entertain them as well as keep them in line. When I needed space, I took it. I also started doing some energetic healings and EFT tapping with two friends. I started eating better and exercising. The most important physical activity that I do is my ski every Sunday. It allows me some alone time as well as time to heal my body.

By the end of January, the overall feeling changed to one of rest, even if the month was still pretty active. I just did things from a different angle. I took my time to ski, I took my time to plan and prepare meals and most importantly, whenever my tapping and energy healing sessions brought up some horrible feelings, I sat in them. I decided it was most important to sit in the shit this time. Not to run, or to hide, or to fix it. Just to sit in it. There were things that I thought I had cleared through coaching years ago that popped back up into my mind and heart again. By sitting in them I allowed them space to process and clear. I even tracked my progress on the trails, and I was skiing the same one five minutes faster. I felt amazing and I was ready to move forward with my plans for 2018.

We need to take the time to sit with our ‘bad’ emotions. They are there for a reason. So just allow them to flow. The more you allow them to flow through you, the faster they will. If you let the ugly feelings walk in through the front door on their own, instead of making them force they’re way in, they won’t want to take up space for long. It’s when we keep pushing those feelings down that they grow roots, become difficult to weed out, and rear their ugly heads when we least expect it.